Soulmates&Swingers #Podcast with Dr. LB Wells PT 1: Whitecoat Effect Syndrome

0:07 It's the sex and lifestyle podcast that you didn't know you needed. This is the Swinging Soul Mates Podcast with your host, Mondo and sativa. Please relax, unwind and come play with us and our guest cohost as we can really share our personal experiences and erotic escapades in the lifestyle motivated by passion and purpose. Our goal is to create a community that allows themselves to be educated and entertained through the tales of the swinging zones. Mondo and Sativa are not medical professionals, yet we are a happily married couple of 19 years, and in the LLS for 10 we have a deep, unwavering commitment to our marriage and to holding a space in normalizing and redefining the concept of relationships and monogamy.

1:02 The Swinging Soul Mates strives to be a resource and inspiration to others. So subscribe, put a reoccurring play date on your calendar, and come along with us as we journey deep into our lives as swinging soul mates.

1:26 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Your Favorite couple, Soul mates and swingers here. So this is your girl, Lady Sativa and my king. Lord Mondo. Y'all you guys know he's always. He's doing production stuff, so that's always that little lag there because he's used to just meet me talking and then he's like, oh, it's my turn, but. I am the one. I hope you guys have all had a beautiful, sexy, loving week. I'm sorry, you. Just talk so well. Aw, you're so sweet and so much.

2:09 That's what he really wanted to say.

2:13 I hope you guys are having a loving, sexy, hot, moist week. I know everybody loves that word moist, so I like to say it. I don't know why that's one of the words that makes people cringe so much moist. I mean, your cakes should be moist, so I don't get it, but I think. It's got, it's got, it's got, I'll be the first to say that it's got some sexual undertones, so. Oh yeah, for sure, for sure. It's one of the cringiest words, though. It does. People. It does make a few people cringe because it's sort of one of those, you know what I'll what I'll liken it to.

2:53 It's like when you're in 7th grade and you're doing sex Ed for the first time and your teacher says penis and vagina and everybody starts sort of having that, you know, that funny giggle. And you know, it's not really funny. It's not funny funny. It's just like they're embarrassed, funny. Yeah, that's very true. It's funny that you meant to that because my 14 year old is having he freshman year in high school and having just now at the end of the year having his sex Ed class. And let me tell you, there is nothing sex Ed about it.

3:31 I wanted to ask him So what do you do if the column breaks? But you know they didn't cover that. So good thing that we're on top and we are those parents that. I'm sure one day he's going to be in therapy going, So I remember the exact day that my parents just embarrassed me too much with their sexual honesty. But I feel like it's it's a duty because it's not. They're not receiving the same kind of sex Ed that we did. I remember sex Ed was an entire semester when I was a freshman in high school.

4:03 Yeah, I mean, we we had a day, you know, I remember, you know, my, my mother, you know? My mother basically said, you know, this is the penis, this is the vagina, this is how it works, don't do it right. Yeah, yeah. That was it. Don't even think it was. Doing it. Yeah. You're pure you're. Yeah. I got the same thing and you know, I grew up in where my mom, it wasn't super religious, but it that was a lot of why you didn't do anything. You know, was was based upon the religious beliefs. My grandfather was a minister and ran his own church.

4:43 But that wasn't until later in life, like my mom didn't grow up with him being in the household, being a minister. But my grandmother grew up in a burying, you know, religious household. They're from Jackson, Ms. So, you know, just put it out there. Many of us know, I think growing up when we did, that religion was such a huge part of. Your child rearing. Absolutely. I mean, you know, interestingly from a different perspective, you know, just like the, the character in the story, I grew up, you know, Jewish and and it's very much a part of the Jewish religion sort of the same.

5:23 The Judeo-christian laws overlap quite a bit so that, you know, whole sort of the sexual laws apply. But I would say that unless you're very religious Jewish, it wasn't a very strong part of the culture amongst, you know, I would say Reform and mainstream Jews and that that's kind of how I grew up. So my I would say sexual aversion as a young as a young girl. I was the the fear of, I'll say God. I was put into because I grew up during the during the age generation, you know, during the 80s and 90s.

6:14 We did not know how that was going to pan out. We did not know what was going to happen. You know, we we always had that speaker who was that one woman who said I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend who's never I've never been with anybody else and I got, I got and so. They all come from same organization because that definitely happened in my sex Ed class. We had a speaker one day and yeah. If it wasn't that it was on an episode of 90210 or something. I was just about to say that. If you don't.

6:49 Absolutely So, so that's kind of, you know, that's kind of the fears that were. I remember you saw that with pregnancy, disease and all sorts of, you know, ill consequences that you do not want at that age. So it's funny to mention I don't tell. I know though it. Wasn't so much religious thing. Yeah. Yeah, in my. In my case, but in in the case of many of my peers, it was. You know, yeah. So I'm sure listeners are like did you wait, hold on, you guys are just talking now. So let me go back before I delve even more into this because I definitely have comment about that I don't 210 and how that just really like shaped what I thought my you know first time should have been like and and all that.

7:40 But anyways, so we'll jump right back here, so. We have a very special guest. I know I say this about everybody, but every guest is very special. That's why our episodes are so damn good guys. But we have a very special guest today, someone who we've already been talking 30 minutes before starting this guy's. And you know, I work on energy, and let me tell you, the energy is just overflowing. The positive energy is overflowing thus far. So I hope that at the end of this episode, you guys. Also take, you know, take that away and and go back to this episode because I guarantee that it's going to be full of information for you.

8:20 So I definitely want to welcome today's guest, Dr. Wells. And is that correct, Dr. LB Wells? Doctor LB Wells. Yes, there we go. I'm. Talking long enough for my introduction. It's OK. It's OK. It's hey. I'm in areas that's just, you know, that's what we do as well. I'd rather let me give the introduction. No, but so today our guest is a surgical oncologist who also wrote a very spicy medical book called The White Coat Effect. This book is very intriguing, involving an awkward coming of age subplot, A steamy interracial relationship between a Jewish girl and a Muslim boy.

9:05 All on the path toward surgical greatness. It's awesome. I love how that just it it takes you one way. You're like, ooh steamy subplot. And then you're like, oh wait, surgical greatness? OK, there's a lot of sexual scenes and learning lessons about those scenes. This definitely is something that dives very deep into the scientific and physiological responses responsible for sexual attraction, arousal, arousal. You know, the whole 9. So it's super important. I don't think that we give enough credit to just how just full of wonder our body is and how everything works together.

9:46 And we've said in the previous episode that the mind, the body, you know, the spirit, they all have to work, you know, in conjunction with each other, and they're responsible for that puppy love feeling, you know, for that. All your five sisters had to work together. Yes, but just how responsible it is for all of those awesome memories that we create, you know, from adolescent all the way through, you know, being deeply in love like my husband is with me. Absolutely. I like that one. So yes, I am.

10:26 I'm obsessed with him. He knows that. It's been 22 years. We're not going anywhere. But so everybody, please welcome to the podcast Dr. LB Wells. Thank you very much for that heartfelt welcome. Oh, you're very welcome. So let's dive right in deep into it. What is your inspiration for your book? What about 9210? Thank you. Thank you for reminding me. OK, so. Yeah, we'll talk about that. Thank you so much. This is why we do this together. So 90210. Brenda, I really thought I was going to lose my virginity at the spring dance, like she did to Dylan.

11:13 And then my best friends and I were like planning it like two weeks after the episode. Then the episode occurred where she had the pregnancy scare that scared the shit out of us. So let's just say that that you know those plans went to the wayside. And then unfortunately end up losing my virginity like not too far after and it was nowhere like spring dance with Dylan McKay. But it's just. Never is. It never is, Never is. So so that is but it also. Been no Dylan McKay for it to be with Dylan. True.

11:51 And also wanted, you know, Brian Austin Green. So I really if I had. I had the power of knowing about manifestation. Back then I would have spoken into existence, but. I was gonna say Ryan Austin Green is like one of those. Patrick Dempsey's right. Started out kind of like dirty and then like what happened there? I. Remember when Husband realized yeah, but he realized that Doctor was Doctor Mcdreamy or Doctor Dreamy. Like remember when he was in Can't Buy Me Love? Yes, that's what. When a husband realized that, he goes, wait a minute, that's the guy who can't find me like I was like, yeah, that's that's him.

12:30 He's like a lover boy. I was like, yes, that is him. He's his. Delivery guy, Absolutely. Yes, it's so funny because he definitely, once again part of when we grew up, he definitely was that like Anthony Michael Hall, like Anthony Michael Hall was having that very first crush. Like and someone assuming he was. He was a geeky funny guy. Absolutely. You know, I was one of those in high school too, like a geeky funny guy that I was the crazy about you. Know my very first boyfriend in fifth grade? His name was Kevin Jago and he looked just like Anthony Michael Hall.

13:05 I mean, red hair, red freckles, yeah. Your memory is stupid. She's photographic. He always goes, how do you remember people's names? I was like 01 where we grew up. You always said somebody's first and last name, but that's just how girls are. Like you remember your first crush. You definitely remember your first crush. I don't remember my first crush. And and you know, listen, my first crush, I mean, I spent, I think, three years of high school with an unrequited first crush. How am I going to forget that guy's name?

13:39 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, guys, I. Don't remember the girl's name when I lost my virginity to. Yeah, I asked him that. He's like, I don't know. I just remember this and where it happened and. He knows I don't. I really. Don't he can tell you where it was who was in the other room. I think most guys that's actually we should put that out there. We should put a poll out there. How many men versus women like the percentage of really truly remember their first love or first time or first question. I mean, yeah, I I could go back.

14:13 Poll. And then the question then that there should be a secondary poll is like, how many guys are being honest because like, guys also like to be too cool for school, right? I don't even. I don't remember people's name like that. I just met last week. Yeah, that's I'm glad. I'm not. We remember physical things. Like, you know. Ladies, as I'm getting older, I I don't remember people as much as when I as from my youth, if I think back to my formative years, I remember like in vivid Technicolor. And you know, I don't remember people as well that I meet more recently.

14:54 And that's very. True, like a picture. Things that happen in high school and then my homeboys and stuff like that. I remember them, but we talked after high school, but in terms of. Girls or just even classmates. People be like we went to high school together. He just laughs. I'm still best friends with the girl that I met at. What was important to you in high school? Honestly, that's what left an impression. You know, I mean, it's not to say that girls weren't important to you, but it's like falling in love wasn't important to you in high school, which is very common for men of that age.

15:32 You know, they like sex is important to men of that age, but falling in love generally isn't one of, you know, the top. Of the. Food chain. But but they're their friends, their boys, they're whatever they're they're very important to those to to to men. Yeah, very much so. It's it's, I say all the time trauma doesn't have to be negative thing or you know the impact that it makes. I could just be something that left an impression on you. And you wouldn't consider your time with your your friends in school trauma but that's also something that just left an impression and that's part of who you are today.

16:08 And I see that come out when he raises our sons. We, you know in in his parenting we have an 11 and 14 year old and I could just very much see how he relates back to being 14, maybe not too much 11 but 14. You know he he I think he taps into. But yeah, so there we go. We get off topic, however, now. Associate If you want me to get back to answering your question, I'll try to do it in a nutshell. First of all, I should tell you that the white coat effect is the medical syndrome. It is actually refers to when when somebody goes into the doctor's office and their blood pressure is high, but it's not normally high.

16:55 It's high because they're in the doctor's office and they're full of anxiety and the adrenaline's running and all that stuff. So their blood pressure comes out much higher than it would be as if than if they were to go to the Walgreens or the CVS or whatever and have their blood pressure taken. So that's called the white coat effect or the white coat syndrome. Now I chose that for, you know, a couple of reasons. I said okay, well, it's a syndrome. It's a very interesting. Syndrome. You can find many double entendres and many meanings to that, right?

17:28 OK. Oh, your blood pressure spikes when you see a doctor. That could be romantic, sexual. That could also be physiologic, like I just explained. And I also wanted there to be some mystery in it. There's plenty of people that don't know what the white coat effect is, so I wanted people to interpret it for themselves. What is the white coat effect? Is it that when you see a doctor? He or she, she is sexy. You know, I I just, I I I wanted to leave it open to interpretation. So that was the best responsible for the title of the book and to get to your sort of question about you know the Physiology the anatomy the the endocrine system and and and all those things behind those processes.

18:12 I mean it it's all involved. I mean, you know, you have your, you have your hormones that get excited. During the arousal phase, and that affects your your blood flow, your blood flow to your genitalia and other organs. That also then affects your a feedback loop of hormones, something called oxytocin, which gets elaborated in women a little more frequently and and with higher concentration than men. Which is why you see women often falling in love a little more deeply and more immediately than men do.

18:47 Eventually men do form it too, but it's called the bonding hormone. And you know, there's a whole series of of those types of things that I get into in the book. And in addition to, you know, she's, she's actually learning about the stuff in medical school in a way before she's experiencing it in real life. Which is actually very interesting. So he's sort of fumbling through because she's a late loomer. So she's fumbling through a sex life while she's learning about all the things that happen in the human body that, you know, that you know, arouse us to bring us together, attract us to each other and then bond us to one another.

19:40 She's learning as she's as she's studying it. And you said she's in medical school, so she's in her mid 20s in the book. Yes, and and she's lost her virginity at the age of 20, so she's lost her virginity quite late. Wow, OK, so I can imagine just while she's experiencing something, maybe seeing, you know, the guy that she's interested in like her. Also in her mind going, Oh well, this is what's happening. Now that I'm feeling this, like I'm seeing him and I'm getting flushed or I'm feeling warm or whatnot, and because she's learning about at the same time, maybe making the connection, you know, medically to what actually is going on at the time.

20:25 I mean, you know, I I don't know if the character exactly is is, you know narrating through her head exactly what's happening. Like now I'm getting flushed because the blood flow actually, you know, but. You know, but I did narrate that in the book for the sake of the readers. So I I did do that in the book. You know, I wanted the readers to understand the processes that were going on. You know, that's just a part of the book, which is sexual awakening. I also, you know in detail, went through what it was like to be a medical student and I really brought.

21:07 The I brought the students into the into the classroom and the operating room and the and the hospital. I brought them into that experience in as much as, in as much of A way as I could. I really think that anyone reading this book will say I feel like I deserve my honorary medical degree, you know, because I really do bring them in into that. Into the into the rounds they they're on rounds, they're on patients. I give patient examples. I give, I take them through surgeries from soup to nuts, you know, and I do that in the book because and and actually I find the sensuality.

21:51 Mostly in the surgeries, I'm a little biased because I'm a surgeon. So the flow of the knife, I'm not understanding. Guys, I'm not a mass murderer here. OK. So like take a step back here, you know, there is there, believe it or not, in surgery. And please, please, you know, mark my words carefully, there is a sensuality in the way that you utilize a knife in the operating room. I think that you know. Top chefs will tell you the same thing, the way they deal, they deal with food and and how they, you know, and how they chop fish and things like that.

22:28 So the way that you are, you know, cutting into skin and cutting into different planes of the body. There is an artistry and a sensuality that is associated with that and if you usually break with that then you usually cause mistakes, you get bleeding, you get problems. So. So in order to have you know perfect outcomes you really want to have that you you really want to adhere to the I would say the sensuality of the planes of the human body. So I really tried to to have that intermesh with the sensuality of.

23:04 Of the humans interacting with each other. So the life interacts with the patient in the same way that, you know, Rory interacts with a mirror. It's a dance. It's a choreography. Have you or did you ever see the TV show Nip Tuck? I loved I love Nip Tuck, although it's not for the faint of heart. You. Know and if I remember right, they used to play music. When they were doing the surgery and they tried to make it kind of like a dancer, kind of. Flow to the way that they were cutting. It yeah, I have.

23:42 I have my playlist and we also have our closing music when we close the Body and our opening music. So you know, most of us have. I have our playlist actually, but to me as someone who be as a patient or would be a patient because I'm clearly not going to medical school but that actually that would put me at ease like that would let me know that what you do is so important to you. It puts the dot like anything that you can to put the doctor into a Zen state is is. I don't mean a trans state where you're out of it.

24:15 I'm talking about the state of peace and control is extremely important. Now this is to say that. You know that there should be any less level of seriousness and and you know, speaking to the music, if there's ever a moment or a couple of moments in the operating room or something goes bad, the first thing that happens is the music gets turned off. It's cut off exactly because it not that takes a different focus like that means there's, you know, I need to be even more tone tuned in than I already was.

24:49 And then some sense of emergency and things. About, you know, telling everybody to shut up and sometimes using, you know superlatives that that does happen sometimes during those times, you know, only drink during times you know some people abuse it. But I I'm a firm believer that those, those. Should be reserved for when very, very, very serious moments when the patient's life could be endangered. If somebody talks or somebody speaks out of line or moves out of line or makes the wrong move or whatever, like you have to, There has to be a bit of a setting, somebody straight for that, that kind of thing.

25:33 Thank you for joining us on Soul Maintenance. We hope that you enjoyed yourself just as much as we did. Please don't miss our next play date. It just wouldn't be the same without you. Until next time, be passionate. Be in the moment. Be bold. Be loving. Be the best version of me. Love at night. Hey, this is Mondo. Thanks for joining us this week. We want soul mates and swingers, if you have any questions. Or any topics that you want us to cover. You can reach us at 12IN NSATIV [email protected] and also on Twitter AT12IN NSATIVA.

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