Soulmates&Swingers #Podcast with Carrie Jerslow PT 3

0:07 It's the sex and lifestyle podcast that you didn't know you needed. This is The Swinging soulmates podcast with your host Mondo and sativa. Please relax unwind and come play with us and our guest co-host. As we can delete, share our personal experiences and erotic, escapades and lifestyle. Motivated by Passion and purpose. Our goal is to create a community that allows themselves to be educated and entertained through the tales of the swimming. So nice. Manu and sativa are not medical professionals.

0:45 Yet we are a happily married. Couple of 19 years and in the LS1 10. We have a deep unwavering commitment to our marriage and to holding a space in normalizing and redefining the concept of relationships and monogamy The Swinging soulmates strives to be a resource and inspiration to others. So subscribe, put a reoccurring, play date on your calendar and come along with us as we journey deep into our minds assuming some weeks.

1:33 In my book, which is called, why do they always break up with me? I have eight steps. That was what helped me heal from heartbreak, heartbreak to finding my husband. And the first step is acceptance, which is kind of what we just talked about. So, it's like accepting, how I feel? Not making myself wrong. Not chaining me knowing that, it came from Somewhere that helped me get through my life when I was maybe unconscious but the next step is gratitude. It is about and I tell people who have never had a gratitude practice, start small just like you said like I'm so thankful for bread.

2:11 I'm so thankful for this blanket because it just feels warm and it feels soft and you milk it as much as possible because what you focus on grows and grows and grows being more, That into your life. I did silly things like, you know, when it's PMS, time time for me and that's my time of the month. Now that I'm like, I want candy, you know, hubby hit up that 7-Eleven and less bring back. And I am extremely thankful for that Reese's Pieces or whatever may be in that moment. But it can be something as small as that because that does help to raise your awareness and raise your Consciousness.

2:52 I say for Well, you know, we all live in a time now, where people are sleeping on freeways, you know, homelessness is ridiculous. I'm not sure if it's as bad as it is there, as in California, but well, not really and I think it's okay for you to drive by that and say I'm thankful and grateful for the fact that I don't have to be in a tent on the side of the freeway, it's just little things like that because then you'll become more aware of being grateful and Or for the bigger things and those bigger things come from your hard work and your success at being aware and being confident and being a better person.

3:45 And the person that you can be for yourself and others. Yes. And you know, I will say that I think you asked this before, is that? I've had experiences where my healing has been instantaneous, those are really amazing moments, but more times than not, it's a process because I am continually evolving. I am, I have been on a hardcore spiritual journey for 20 years. And still to this day I'm evolving and growing. I will never say, I've got it figured out like the people that know me, even my clients.

4:23 I'm like, I don't have it all figured out. I just and Continually showing up and trusting that there is a process and knowing that, I feel better now than I've ever felt, and I'm more myself and I ever have been, but it is a process and there are times I wanted to give up for sure. Absolutely. Then I maybe have a couple days where I just sit and, you know, and under my covers as much as I can. I rest, I allow myself to be in that space and then I will connect with the friend who will kind of help to you.

4:56 You know, connect me to back to my spirit to who I truly am to Hope even hope, even if I don't know what the next step is. And so I would say more than not and and I did a podcast episode of this is like it's about the journey. It's not about a Finish Line. I think as long as we're in a body with, there's not a Finish Line to our Evolution and to are growing as long as we're in a body. So because the exchange, you can't go down that Finish Line like What's going on around you? We covid hit and then people were on lockdown for a year or a year and a half that completely changed how people interact and things like that.

5:38 Like, you always have to be able to adapt and that's part of evolution like you were saying earlier. Yeah. And we want to be growing, right? I mean I don't want to be who I was. When I was even born em-50, I'll be 53 this year. And I'm like, I don't want to be who I was, when I was 45. 45 was really hard for me, I had to very young kids, and I was really lost and, you know, so I'm glad that I constantly evolve and, and then I'm growing and that I'm challenging myself and facing the fear. And I feel like that's a life worth living for me.

6:16 That's how I'm going to live my life, as, you know, even even if it's challenging in that, like, you know, I talked mainly about intimate relationships and Intimate Relationships can be if you're reliving them consciously they will reflect back to you Parts. About yourself that are challenging to see but I'd rather see it and then face it and then get the help to move through it and heal it, and be a better version of myself and evolve. And so to me it's like and I think when you're in the beginning of the, you see more of the the struggle and you don't see the Tre, you don't see like, what is this?

6:57 Meaning you? What is this leading me to? But I think now after 20 years, I know how I cycle and I know that I go through dark times, I feel challenged I come out into kind of the light and feel so different and I probably gone through that cycle. I don't know a thousand times in 20 years, you know, a varying degrees. And so they mention that before dark night of the Soul, Dark Night of the soul is, I would talk about that as everything. I thought I knew is being challenged right now. My whole identity, like everything I lived, you know, I had different Dark Nights of the soul.

7:41 My biggest one, I would say was after that, break up, when I was 23, that started my spiritual journey and that was like, I don't know who I am. I don't know who I am. I don't know who I've been. I feel completely hopeless, and everything is being pulled. Every single thing is being pulled away from me and same thing. With same thing with my after my divorce, every single thing was pulled away from me, makes you question. Yeah. What you thought you All that you thought you knew. And yeah. Yeah. And like I remember Man, I went through when I left Blue, Man, Group.

8:29 So I work for them for 12 years and when I, and when I worked for Blue, Man Group, and that was my identity. That was my identity for 12 years when I and I'm telling you people connected with me through that cuz I was the director. So, wow, Harry, I could just be Carrie, and I was not a big deal, but when they found out, I was the director of Man Group, their whole world King like, oh my God. Ya wanna know all about you. I want that was part of my identity, so like when I left that job, which I left that was a dark night of the Soul because I had to learn who I was without that job.

9:12 And that's why I always say, like get to know who you are without the external influences because then you've got a solid foundation, then you got a solid foundation that if things get taken away. Or if you shift, you still know who you are. Yes, yeah. And you can, and I find it powerful. That was a good question, huh? Me? But I find a powerful that you said that, you know, these Cycles about yourself and that you've gone through them a thousand times. And prior to that you mentioned, you know, being 45 having young children, would you define that as another example of, you know, a Dark Night of the Soul?

9:52 Or was that just the time that, you know? Your control of the ability, the sense of control was being lost. And I ask this question because there are a lot of women and a lot of mothers who will find themselves in the same situation and they don't have the support. You know, you're you are moving based on what society says, you know, about how you're feeling, what you're the old school advice that maybe you may get from a grandmother and aunt or mother. or somebody telling you, like, Push that deep down, you'll be okay.

10:30 So you know your experience and being part of your journey you had a A closer, a smaller gap between your spirituality and knowing self. Then somebody who's fresh within that within that same experience would be, what would be your advice? Because I think when you said that about being a mother with young children, I think that every mother new mother, and especially ones that maybe have children close together because of whatever reason, we all probably go through that and what's not Find that way but it is.

11:09 That's so telling like that spoke to me when you said that, I'm not that you asked that question because so I had my first son when I was 38 and it was, it was the most challenging birthing experience because I had a whole, you know, home birth planned and breastfeeding and all that stuff. And we found out about two weeks before know, maybe three. Weeks before he was born that the cord was wrapped around his throat several times, and they weren't sure how long the cord was. So we knew that then a week later.

11:49 My first husband who I've talked about died, very very like surprisingly. And we had just talked to him, probably two days before he went into a coma and eventually died, and he told me, I love you so much and I want to support Your vision for home birth, but I just I don't see it happening. Of course he's a psychic right. Well anyway, I laboured for probably about 50 hours at home for about 10 hours, and he was not coming out. So, we went to the hospital and I thought I was going to die. I really thought I was gonna die.

12:27 I had had visions of me dying in a past life in childbirth. So, I know I felt that in the finally, they get an epidural in and they do a C-section. They when they opened me up. The doctor says my husband who's standing right there. Oh, look at this. She's got this huge infection in her uterus, has totally asymptomatic. If she would have pushed this out, she could have died for she live in the hospital for weeks and weeks and weeks. So my son thank God was smart to know not to come out that way. But anyway, yes, I was so sick for weeks and weeks and weeks after the birth of my didn't produce any milk.

13:04 So I had a lot of Shame on my friends with yes, so much Jean. I was so depressed for years after that. Look so depressed. I felt so alone in in my experience until I went to my spiritual teacher by Emma Skye below. Who is the founder of theta, healing and The Medallion that mainly I use, and she said to me, oh, honey, you are. It is the best thing that your son, never breastfed, because your body is riddled, with heavy metals, and your son would have been so sick if he would have had your breast milk.

13:37 Like it's the best thing. That he never did he so I which was like you don't hear that right? This is the energetics, right? Not this. Not the yeah yeah yeah about my healing. But anyway so so then we moved to North Carolina and I kind of totally cleaned out my body. I had want we wanted to have a second child it did wasn't happening then one month I said to my husband okay we shouldn't try this month because you know, we gotta travel in 9 months from now. Anyway, I got pregnant, I don't know. Of course when you're not trying, that's what it is.

14:14 I tell it, but don't try just have really good sex. Be intimate love the person that you're with like don't even try and that's exactly. I love it said that I'm almost in tears. I mean, they're just really great. Oh, the other thing about this is crazy, like energetic thing is I had a session with the shaman in Colorado like One month before I got pregnant and she said, so you died in childbirth. You're right. But it was with your second child. And so you made this like agreement for any lives after this that you'll never have a second child.

14:51 So we pulled that and I swear the next month I got pregnant with my Nelson so I had him at 43. But anyway, the story continues in that, I breastfed him around the clock because I was like going to get all the stuff that I miss with my cars so many years. I think parenting is one of the most selfless acts because I had to get up and feed my son. He would never even take a bottle. The second one. So it was like, nope. I know where my sustenance comes from Windows.

15:38 The time I broke down, I was like, oh my God, I don't know who I am, and I think an older Mom. I had all those years to know who I was and then I hit a wall and I would remember, I was crying all the time and I realized that I had no self-care built into my day at all. That's when I started my daily self-care practice and I said I'm going to do three sun salutations that's yoga for anyone who doesn't know what it is. It takes three minutes. I'm going to To do that every day. And I'm going to commit to doing that every day and I started that January 1st 2017.

16:15 And that's when I started to reconnect to myself back to my city, that's so fantastic. And it's, so once again, powerful and what you say because like I said, there's so many mothers that don't even know that's what is the Catalyst of what they're feeling or their behavior or you know the slump that they feel in their life or where you know, the void. Yeah. It is because and I think as women I'm not saying that men don't but as women we go through so many different phases and definitions of who we are.

16:47 And then when that changes, you don't know, you know who you are and that's why it is very important. I've always told my husband, I had no problem being his biggest cheerleader because always beloved believed in deep down finding your passion and being within your passion living within it. So I've always been the white that's like hey you know, Know what you want to do and I never even questioned what? Mine was. Hmm. I just was like I'm gonna be there for him because he already knows and I felt like it's my time to do it.

17:19 You know, we have young children are boys are 14 and 11 now. Mike breakfast. You guys. That's what I taught you for. You can make the bread you know it I didn't see you coming. Yes it's so great. Oh during covid I took full advantage of them being home and and have it online learning because That's where our oldest learn. We let him start with what oatmeal and pancakes. He's now after three years he can make pancakes aren't burnt but hey they were fed a you don't they take care of themselves. So it is we have to identify as parents and then as mothers the certain stages that we go through in life, in both both parts and then you also have to separate who you are.

18:06 Yeah. As a woman and What was created through that. Yeah, and this is the other thing I really wanted to say to all those moms out there because and this was actually the inspiration for my podcast and for my whole journey into how I'm looking at relationships. But it was probably when the kids were, I don't know around three and seven. And so, I always say that I raise my kids in the time of Pinterest parenting and that is, you know, like making the cute little sandwiches and doing all these projects.

18:36 And, and I On that I was trying to be like my friends and me that kind of mom and I wasn't, I am not that person and so I actually didn't like motherhood for the first, you know, probably seven years that I was a mother until I realized and allowed myself the space to say, I'm not that kind of mother but I know I have a lot to give to my kids. So what in me? What about me, do I love Of that, I want to be and how I want to show up as a mother. And what I love when I found that I loved is I loved playing with them, listening to their thoughts, asking them going on, walks with them, holding their hands, teaching them how to manifest and vision and like, you know, watching TV with them.

19:26 Like these are the things that a great connection with them and when I was able to embrace that, then I was able to let go of the making sandwiches, which I have friends that love Do that and more power to them and that's how they show up and they love parenting that's me. And that is like, oh, everyone is unique. And if we find how we get to know ourselves, then find how we show up, uniquely in any relationship, we will be more fulfilled because once I found that I was like, oh my God, I love being a mother.

20:00 I love me because I'm starting up in the way that supports me. That values me that, like, Embraces, who, I am. And what I love about myself and that's what your kids are really going to thrive from and become, you know, the men and the and the, you know, proactive and present parts of society is by being truly who you are because that trickles down to them. I mean, as we discussed, you know, 20 30 minutes ago, your nature versus nurture, move the environment that you're around and you know that leaves and those people leave the biggest imprints on you.

20:35 So I I love that you say that's why I'm The everything that you're saying, because I relate so much because I am also that kind of mom. Like we, like I said, my son and I, we lay and we watch, you know, matter Banks now. And we just finished anime. But my other son, we say that he is an old young man. He was born on 8, 8 2008, and there's definitely power. Yeah, and he is who you would think. Like I tell him he was around in 1808 1908 and then he was born with less than our best. Our lives in 2008, but there's a different way that I can connect and build that relationship with both of them to him.

21:16 I'm the one that he can talk to because I'm the one that speaks very honest, a lot of times he makes his face like Mom, please don't talk to me about our darns insects and things like that, but that's who I am because I feel like I'm gonna be able to add to their ability to have good relationships and find partners that, you know, that are good for them. Also, my Son plays basketball. This is what I was yelling all during the game. See it. Imagine the game, you want to have, see it going into the basket.

21:46 That's, those are the positive things that I can do as a mother. Now, you know, they have a project due mom is probably the one at 1:00 in the morning with the poster board, and I'll do that. But don't ask me to make fancy. Like you said sandwiches, or you know, I I don't have a YouTube cooking show for a reason, you know, I'm say, I could cook, but I thought I'd only do that. So I love that you say that. So it's okay for you to be the best mom that you can be for your children and your strengths and your interest.

22:23 Yeah. Pressures off and that's like that is again what I do in my coaching and what I talk about in my podcast if we clear familial cultural and societal Societal programming and expectations. We really pick it apart and we say, what is really mine? And what is really something that society says, makes a good Mom. That's how we have fulfilling relationships. And so, with the energy work that I do is ID program, D program, all of the cultural programming that says a mother, a good mother is someone that makes cute sandwiches.

23:04 So if I'm If I have that programming and yet I don't do it then I feel really bad and I feel like a horrible mother when and I'm actually I think a really good mother because I show up, absolute love and acceptance and I've also cleared the programming that good Mothers make you sandwiches for their kids. I and like, June Cleaver, I always I love watching those. I'm like how does she get up in the morning? Put on pearls, full dress, like a petticoat because she clearly had one Underneath her skirts and then freaking heels and just all day like, why like it.

23:42 But that was the those were the times. Yeah, was the society and whatnot but yet I'm sure there was a woman a real life woman. Not a TV. Mom during that time that was like, please I'm having a cigarette and there's no basil drink everything back then, but I'm having a cigarette and some bourbon for breakfast. I don't know what you guys are gonna have to work it out. You know, there was some but it was just as one Was the mother as what, where and what they were force-fed, you know, in the image, that was created.

24:12 Yeah, yeah. I'm so going to have you on my other podcast, because I think so much of what we're talking about will do so well on the are my women Focus podcast. Listen. Yeah, so we'll have to have you over there because I'm just loving things are lying and it's so powerful to win, but I know that some of our male manifestation earlier. so, Our son, he was born on a date. Yes, yes, that's correct. But he was due on the 15th, but when we heard that 8808 was coming up because it was a big Chinese New Year.

25:01 It was a big Chinese New Year. We're like, we wanted to be born on that day. Our doctor will not tell, Like if you don't go on like nothing but yeah, deliver this baby. Don't do anything. Like both embed to couch because he was ready to come out. Yeah, then it comes on the 8th, she goes into labor at, like 2:00, 3:00 in the morning and we go the whole day and then he was born at 11:56. P.m. and he. Yeah. And we tell them all the time, live within like that energy and that purpose and being who you are.

25:55 Because he's a, not a normal fourteen-year-old. I'm doing normal air quotes, one thing that he doesn't listen to current music. Like his favorite artist of last year, he was sharing his Spotify with us was in. Wilbert Humperdinck. No way. Yeah, yeah. Loves, you know, Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. Yeah. And it's funny because he's kind of taking a journey through music. Like he's starting his first, one was old time, rock and roll. If Bob Seger was his first like, that was the first time he created his own music list and asked to download and that music app and it was like a 11 When he did.

26:41 Yeah, he was like, 11:00 10:00 or 11:00. And I remember hearing it playing and I was like, babe, are you playing Bob Seger? And we're like, it's coming from the shower and he just repeat and he's singing it and he's going well, that was like his first Venture into being like, this is who I am with music and I love it because I have a very eclectic music case I grew up in a very country. I was going to say predominantly white all white except for us community. So I've listed everything but he is taking a journey.

27:14 He started with Bob Seger, then he went back a little further to, you know, the absolute Soul music. But Thank you for joining us on so many things. We hope that you enjoyed yourself just as much as we did. Please don't miss our next payday. It just wouldn't be the same without you. Until next time be passionate be in the mouth. People having be the best version of You by the night. Hey this is Mondo. Thanks for joining us this week. So Mason swingers, if you have any questions Or any topic that you want us to cover, you can reach us at 12.

28:03 I end in s a TI V, A ads, gmail.com and also on Twitter at 12. I n n sa t--. I VA make sure you like follow subscribe, comment, hit all the buttons you can accept. The delete button and we'll see next.