Soulmates&Swingers #Podcast with Carrie Jerslow PT2

0:07 It's the sex and lifestyle podcast that you didn't know you needed. This is The Swinging soulmates podcast with your host Mondo and sativa. Please relax unwind and come play with us and our guest co-host as weak and Ali. Share our personal experiences and erotic escapades and lifestyle. Motivated by Passion and purpose. Our goal is to create a community that allows themselves to be educated and entertained through the tales of the swimming. So nice. Mondo and sativa are not medical professionals.

0:45 Yet we are a happily married. Couple of 19 years and in the LMS or 10. We have a deep unwavering commitment to our marriage and two holding a space in normalizing. And redefining the concept of relationships and monogamy because swinging soulmate strives to be a resource and inspiration to others. So subscribe, put a reoccurring, play date on your calendar and come along with us as we journey deep into our minds eye swings.

1:33 as I mentioned in the intro, you know, you have talents and Knowledge and Skills that I admire and that I really hope that many others start to Go on a journey of finding that same spirituality and that same knowledge that you have and being able to implement that within their lifestyle. But would you, or how would you define of somebody's? I cool. What is, what is, you know, what lady sativa said, what is all that means? What's intuitive? What's your, you know, your your diversity with? What is your Spiel?

2:12 What is your elevator? Yeah, elevator pitch. How is read by and what you're Don't sing interest include. Well, I consider myself an intuitive and and I do a lot of different healing modalities that that have created profound shifts within me. And within, you know, the clients I've been working with for 20 years, like profound like, wow, you and me, I've had people say you have changed my life and here's how. Is where the differences is that when we look at ourselves as just a body. Okay, I'm here, I'm separate.

2:56 I'm me your you. I'm just a 3D body and that's all I am. We're missing the we're missing a holistic view, I think of the truth of who we are. So I had you know I had a lot of wounding around relationships from the time. I was 12 years old because my you know, father had an affair Air. And it was really it was like my life went from completely peaceful to or seemingly peaceful to a war zone, which is strong words. But it was just a lot of verbal screaming where I never heard or seen that before. So, it felt like that kind of drastic shift for me.

3:37 And and I remember, you know, my mom wanted me to see a therapist, and I never wanted to. And finally, I went to college and got to New York, and I rarely have barely had a Ation ship and I had a relationship, which was, like, six months long, but I thought it was going to go to marriage and and he broke up with me, right? It's like that's always what happens. Is the guy broke up with me, so it sent me into such a tailspin that I started to do, talk therapy, the talk therapy, it actually frustrated me.

4:10 And I remember, Therapist. Like what it? What are, what are you supposed to be doing? Because this is not helping me at all. I was just a setup. Yeah, it doesn't help me to talk about it. I need to know what to do with it. The actionable. Yeah, I have a anyone. Yeah. Who's having that issue with her talk therapy? Now where she shares things with me and I said, look, I always say I should have been a psycho therapist or psychologist or whatever maybe but but, And I said, and don't, you know, and don't take this the wrong way, but it seems like she's doing a lot of opinion based therapy.

4:52 Once again, I'm doing air quotes therapy versus giving you a plan of action of abib, Ian actionable, what you can do to make your life better. Like she just likes to point out all the things that you already know, are bad. Yeah, you know, it's somewhat, the relationship that she has epilepsy. One of those therapists who sat down on the first meeting and they were like which one's going to read my loyalty, you know, my debts and she decided I was going to be her and so all she does is beat up her partner when she's trying to find out how do I make this work with him?

5:31 Not yeah. Just tell me what's wrong, you know. So is that something you found? Well, the talk therapy stays in the head. It stays intellectual but see when we experience a trauma. Mama or we experienced a wound. It doesn't stay in the head. In fact, many times we disassociate and disconnect from it. It's it's in ourselves in our in our it's like trauma that's like gets coded into our subconscious. So after I tried to talk therapy, I went into kind of with more somatic therapy which definitely helped it but it wasn't until I was married for six years and then got divorced.

6:11 And then so I had started doing my first husband Psychic healer. So he was like a master class on intuitive, he taught me so much and we were great friends. We just there were parts of our relationship that was not there and I wanted kids and he didn't. And it was just like, we just, we broke up. And I knew that at that point, I had to figure it out. So I started this healing modality with this healer and it goes into the cellular programming in your subconscious. And at me, Actually energetically shifts.

6:46 It it is so transformational that after three months it was like I was a completely new person. It got into all the nooks and crannies that weren't the 3D body. It was had headache body and it makes you aware of so much more. We've had a guest that you guys remember, we've had a guest that was a somatic therapist and coach, and she described that to us and I said, that's so deep because we don't live And the fact that we're all pieces of energy, this is what this universe is made up of it's a huge puzzle were all pieces of energy that have our piece of our puzzle piece like yeah, we're all intertwined.

7:25 And so we have to understand ourselves on the level of other things that I love that 3D body. But really what's ingrained in US much more than that. And we, we are energetic beings. Yeah. And you know more, some people are more aware of their intuitive like I'm an Empath. Okay. My first husband was a clairvoyant, he saw images. And I would always compare myself to him saying, I must not be so I can because I don't see things. I feel things, but I am an impact man. I can walk in a room and I can have, you know, two sentences with someone and feel that something's going on and that's how I do.

8:02 All my intuitive readings, my past, like readings. It is just, I feel like I can feel what's going on. And so getting to know the different ways intuition comes in that is Only Uniquely Yours and learning how to trust it, you know, like, it's been, it's been a 20 year process for me, I would and the early 2000s, I would, you know, be in my little I was a Reiki master teacher. I'd sit there and do these, you know, Reiki healing Zone people and I get messages and it was like the people I trusted. As I would say, I kind of feel like that you might be having something going on with your father and it feels like this is and it would take them saying yes you're right.

8:42 Oh my god, I've got that going on. To start to, you know, what what what I was sensing and feeling and now 20 years later, it's like I just trust that I'm getting it a specifically past like readings, you know, you can't really prove that. But I'll tell you I've done so many past life readings, where people I work on, you know the observing the healing happened in that past life and bringing it up to the current life and they tell me they feel completely different that they If shifted and then they see things that show up in their lives that are things.

9:18 They've never seen in the past are totally different than their past experiences are like, I, it must be the healing. And, you know, clients were like people in my life. My boyfriend, recognizes that I am really different from that one healing that you did. That's so powerful. So we're definitely gonna have to speak up offline because I say all the time I'm psychic and I said tongue-in-cheek but there's some things that I really Lee I hold in high regards about myself like I feel like I'm very intuitive.

9:50 I can read people very well as my hubby says, you make friends with everybody but that's because I think I'm drawn to the energy. He and then maybe at first, I'm drawn to it because we have a good interaction. I'm a people person, but eventually throughout the relationship or acquaintanceship, there's something that keeps me. Having a relationship with them from afar. And I believe that that at first, I used to think that was like, well, that's me just being petty, that's me, being part of the Ares.

10:20 But now, I'm really thinking it's me, being intuitive and knowing that I'm working with in the University versus telling me like that person is not the person for you and it's okay, you know, it's okay for you identified that but we definitely got to speak because I do say when it sits, right? I'm like, told you I knew what I'm saying. Yeah, but there's I think that there's something there and it's very powerful. I will speak about that offline, good. Not this gonna be like a seven hour podcast that that Lord - gonna have to edit a breakup.

10:52 You'll be our whole season. The rest of the season is just going to be 0. So I did want to ask how important do you think it is for self-care and for somebody to realize that we hold trauma and baggage because of our nature versus nurture kind of audience and a lot of it and who we are as adults is really deeply rooted in our childhood experiences. Yeah. How did your, you know your healing. How did that make that? So prevalent I liked it, was it a? Oh my gosh there it is moment, or was it a process?

11:34 And then how important do you think that is for somebody to start on the process of knowing oneself and then being able to to, you know, lead that and have that going to their other relationships. It is Imperative it is imperative. You cannot know what you want in a relationship. If you don't know who you are that is like the biggest message of my podcast of my of the movement of relationship diversity. Is you the relationship with you that you have with yourself should be your number one priority?

12:14 Now we are taught the complete opposite of that. We are not that. We find our happiness and others that we find our happiness in our outside world. And that's the difference between the 3D. I'm just a body and the Viewpoint that I am a spiritual being and that I'm this, like 5D. You know, that I am more than just my body because I believe that everyone is a not everyone, but the people that really, you know, come into your life and have impact our are reflections of who you are. So Having a, you know, a relationship with someone who is disrespectful and doesn't give me my knee.

12:58 You know what I need? Then I need to look at not necessarily that I'm the same way but I need to look at what within me feels that I'm not worthy of having what I want of getting what I need. I don't give that to myself. So these are things, you know, this is what conscious relating is is saying It's not about you. You might be the cat of the Catalyst for the awareness of what's going on with me. And it's not about you. That was like, the hugest aha moment that I had in my own personal healing. With my dad was, I blamed him because what he did made all my relationships suck and I couldn't be successful relationship.

13:41 But when I finally, and this was after my divorce, took the blame off of him and said, what am I learning from this? What is my soul? That's what is what? I wanting to know and embrace and I found that I would never have been as independent as I am. I would never have been on my spiritual journey. If this hadn't happened, I'm grateful for this experience. As painful as it was, it became grateful. And then I looked at what am I wanting to learn? And how am I wanting to rope? That's the conscious relating aspect that.

14:15 I feel could heal humanity is if we just First, you get all off of the other person inside like, what am I learning? How am I growing from this? Now I want to say that doesn't mean that I have to be. Make it work with a person if it for me. No I do not need to make it work but I can went to my current Corner disconnect from that person and say, what is my lesson? What am I wanting to learn? And how am I wanting to grow? Maybe I want to reclaim my power. Maybe yes, saying no, I am worthy. Thank you for showing me that I was not.

14:49 Putting myself first and you know so it's that reflection and I just want to say one other thing about self-care like self-care I could I have a whole course on my website called self-care made easy because self-care is the way to get there and I don't talk about like a massage or a pedicure and manicure. I talk about self-care and I Define it as it is about connection to self. It is about reconnecting to yourself each and every day to nowhere. R, u r. What's going on? What's been good? That's happened in the day.

15:23 How you've been triggered because especially like you are intuitive? So as an intuitive, you know, we take on things on the outside world and unless we have time to process it, we then like it starts to affect us and we don't know why. So self-care daily self-care, I do yoga every single day and have for this is, I'm in my seventh year, and I document it because I know that when I get on my mat, that's when I can be like, what the fuck? Happened today.

15:58 Yes. Now that all kind of all kind of Applause. They're like, the whole time you were talking, I was like, wait, no. She's saying something else saying something great. No, it's what you're describing is like, you said, it's imperative, because one of the, my biggest pet peeves about individuals, as when they go, I am the way that I am because of X Y and Z, and it's usually haven't do around their parents or up, drinking great, you identify that. But why are you, why are you living within it? I don't know.

16:28 Right now, current Society it pushes tours dependency, like if you're religious you have to depend on God or your religion or where the case may be the government. Wants you to depend on them, how you feel? Depends on how someone knows acted or towards you or something like that? Like there's a lot of dependency that is taught to us. Now, we will rise. Very disempowering. But I'll tell you that it is that it's all so familiar and we will tend to stay in the familiar, even if in pain, it takes courage, it's more like change boy, you know, it takes support and courage to say like this isn't that?

17:16 I am in so much more pain and I think I've got to go, you know, and have a dark night of the soul and this is why I work with. I worked with someone in my day. Darkest Night of the soul and why I facilitate that for people like I have a program where I work eight weeks and I am just so hundred percent in it with that person. I only work with two people at a time because I am so great because people need that kind of support. Once they said yes to it, that will never work with someone until they say I am ready.

17:51 And I am going to show up even through the fear and I'm like, then I'm gonna show you But we need that kind of help because we're going to face some things that are icky that yeah, not good. And that we judge and that we've held in shame within ourselves, these are Big emotions to be facing and and it's why if we try to go at it alone, we will tend to just go back to how we've ever, you know, always done it, which is like, oh, I'm going to look for my happiness outside of me, huh? And other things and Material at tangible things as far as materialistic things and you know, and people and it in it.

18:34 That's why Instagram and social media, I think has such a impact because you can go ahead and try to express that happiness that you're living for so many others to see. And then you're getting the approval by them because you're showing yourself on a trip to Bora, Bora or whatever it is. But yet behind that camera, you are not happy, you're truly not happy and not living your truth. True purpose and I love that. You said beer because that is the exact. I mean, it's right at the beginning. It's right at the top tippy-top of why everybody does.

19:09 What you know what they do. And what our behavior is based behind is that fear and really finding out the truth, finding out who you are finding out the answers, welcome tattoo that you want with fear. Lack of. Oh no. You said that we have saved, says fear 52. Well, my fingers lack of passion is fatal and then live in your passion not in your fear, hmm. Yeah. Step out of living in fear. I use a different couples step out of living and stare and step into your passion and purpose, either way, that is kind of my say, my Mantra, you know, I will be the first to and I'm okay with admitting, you know, I had a rough first week of this year and it's only because I like to Now, I'm in a point that I know that if I plan things and this, this is a really good point to everybody, and we've heard it a million times set, small goals to, you know, make that big accomplishment and up it says, so in the past couple of years, that's what I've been doing is at the end of the year, you know, going into the new year kind of setting goals for myself and starting off at the beginning of the year.

20:25 On what I need to do the actions, I need to take to get there and I just didn't feel it this year. For some reason, during the end of the year towards the beginning, the year I just didn't feel it. Like I've I have been for the past couple years and got to a point I was like I'm gonna quit everything. I'm gonna go ahead and pivoting and go back and I had to have the conversation with myself. That was a response to just go back to what I felt was normal or what was comfortable. And then I have the truly ask myself goals that really comfortable because you were you were not happy I'm during that time.

21:00 So It's just kind of having that wherewithal to stop yourself to stop that normal conversation, that - conversation that leads you to kind of negative actions and the being able to stop that and it's normal to have that. It's okay to have that. It doesn't matter. What is that? You know, I always guide people and I do this in my own life because I faced plenty of fears daily. Is that as much as possible? Make peace with the fear instead of making the favor wrong. Because when we resist, what we resist persists, Carl Jung said that.

21:38 So we resist the feelings of fear, they will grow and get larger than they need. To. Instead, we say, I always guide my clients to say hello to the fear, like, hello? I see you, what, what is the deeper message? Because it always something under the fear that were wanting to look at. So what do what do you want to say to me? Like I'm listening I want you to know that. I just, I see you. I hear you. I send love to you. And more times than not, the fear will start to dissipate when we acknowledge and accept it because it really is just a part of ourselves that wants to be acknowledged and seen.

22:18 Yeah, well, that's super powerful. I love that you're able to put it into that context, you know where people can, then kind of learn that that route Or that action of taking a minute. We do, once you have the, like I said, the foresight to be able to say, this is a hiccup and it is pure, but then being about had that conversation with this, not yourself, but with the universe and then didn't tap with your spirituality again and say, okay, I'm in a way relinquishing that control, which is what beer is, that's a different form of control.

22:56 But relinquishing that, and I'm open to the change that I need to make, or what you have in store for me or like you said, I hear you. I send you an energy of love. I send love black, whatever love and light, whatever that may be having that conversation. Yeah, is is something that you can do every day to be grateful verse of hormones, that allows you to really start being grateful and and identifying the small things. I mean, somebody sent the other day on Instagram, they were grateful for bread and people thought it was a joke and she's like, no, I'm seriously grateful.

23:31 It's the small things that if you truly Lee Min that graciousness. That is what gratefulness is about. Yeah. And then as you focus into that gratitude, so thank you for joining us and soul mate. We hope that you enjoyed yourself just as much as we did. Please don't miss our next playdate. It just wouldn't be the same without you. Until next time be passionate be in the moment. The bowl loving be the best version of You Love a night. Hey this is Mondo. Thanks for joining us this week. So Mason swingers, if you have any questions, Or any topics that you want us to cover.

24:25 You can reach us at 12. I end in s a TI V, A ads, gmail.com and also on Twitter at 12. I n n sa t--. I VA make sure you like follow subscribe, comment, hit all the buttons you can accept. Delete button and we'll see next.