Soulmates&Swingers #Podcast with Demi Wylde PT 2

0:07 It's the sex and lifestyle podcast that you didn't know you needed. This is the Swinging Soul Mates Podcast with your host, Mondo and sativa. Please relax, unwind and come play with us and our guest cohost as we candidly share our personal experiences and erotic escapades in the lifestyle motivated by passion and purpose. Our goal is to create a community that allows themselves to be educated and entertained through the tales of the swimming zones. Mondo and Sativa are not medical professionals, yet we are a happily married couple of 19 years, and in the LLS for 10 we have a deep, unwavering commitment to our marriage and to holding a space in normalizing and redefining the concept of relationships and monogamy.

1:02 The Swinging Soul Mates strives to be a resource and inspiration to others. So subscribe, put a reoccurring play date on your calendar, and come along with us as we journey deep into our lives as swinging soul mates.

1:33 I love that and I love that when it's personal people, they gravitate towards more. You know when you have a story to tell and when you are being transparent in that sharing. That speaks volumes, You know, that really allows somebody to maybe then go ahead and listen to a podcast episode once or twice and then really have like this epiphany of this moment of understanding that they didn't even know maybe that they were going through or they don't know how to communicate it themselves and describe it and you're able to provide them that opportunity to do so.

2:15 I it's, it is. Like I said, I keep saying empower empowering, but it is and it's I know for myself when I feel like I've educated somebody on the use of cannabis and how it can, you know, increase and and and enlighten their existence and and just elevate their quality of life. And they look at me and they tell me, Oh my gosh, like, thank you so much. Like all I needed was somebody to talk to me and talk to me like a poor, a person, a person about it. And to be able to relate to what I'm going through.

2:50 And it's like I said, it's such a good feeling. I know for me, I always say when I leave this earth, I want to know that I left a footprint of significance and the lives of others in a positive way. And so knowing that and realizing that while you're here is so fulfilling. And I can just imagine how fulfilling that must be because sex is so important. We worry and we we we go to the doctor. Well, hopefully people go to the doctor for their yearly exam. You go to the dentist twice a year. You see your optometrist.

3:25 Now people are starting to put more focus on mental health, but nobody ever says let's focus on your sexual health. And that is such a part of who we are as as human beings, as physiological biological specimens. That's a part of who we are if one thing's off kilter. Everything's off kilter and people don't give that attention to sexual Wellness as being something that can kind of just make sure little janky, you know, So having sex educators, certified sex educators or those that are using personal experience, those that are willing to talk about it, it's so very important and I love that.

4:12 It's now making sex less of a tabooish type topic and actually a topic that, like I said, Wellness and and the health of of your sexual your sexuality, pushing it in the forefront. And it's slow, but it's happening. Even like people, just talking about it helps just because you get more experiences that people can relate to when you go to a professional. In quotes, they might be talking more textbook, but you hear everyday regular people's story then it makes you feel like okay. Well, maybe I'm not weird, or maybe I I'm okay thinking or feeling the way that I feel.

5:00 And there's a community out there, you know, for everything. And I knew I. Was on to something. I knew it was awesome because I was driving Lyft for a while for that was like a secondary job. And I had told one of my passengers about hook up horror stories and she goes, Oh my God, let me tell you, because whatever I mention these kind of things, everyone has a story. Everyone has like one of these, either a silly story or a kind of traumatizing story or just a story that they just don't really want to share with people because they're a little bit of shamed about it.

5:35 But I want to like, reiterate that everyone has these experiences and it's. Perfectly natural. My aim is just harm reduction, you know? The more you know, the more you know how to navigate these situations. When they come, look out for the red flags. I love playing red flags people on my show because I'll give people like a silly situation. Is this a red flag for you or not? And it's it's it's educating. But it's also funny, you know, it's it's entertainment. Yeah, it kind of reminds me of. I know Hubby didn't read it, but Cosmo and 17 used to have.

6:10 An article, a portion of that where, you know, was sharing crazy stories or sharing, you know, girls that were like, I got my tampon stuff, you know, way too deep for a week, just embarrassing stories or just whatever it may be. And I thought was like my favorite part of the Cosmo, like absolute favorite. Me and my girlfriends would read that first, you know, with our box wine that we used to drink every Thursday watching The OC. I was, it was it was so much that you go, Oh my God, so I'm not the only one that farted when I was getting head, you know, or giving head.

6:50 It's such a human experience. Like it's so human humanizing. It's it's the the only thing that really we all have in common is sex and death. We all, we all fuck and we all die, you know? We're all born, but yeah. Those are the guarantees. Yeah. Did the forts smell? She was. Giving me. Because that would be awkward. Like, it's one thing for the sound, but. You know what? Smells happen, Smells happening. Parts happen. I mean, I guess you would know if that person just slowly stopped and or quickly stopped and made their way up, you know up north, then yes, then probably, probably, but.

7:37 I think if it's good and it's, you know, it's right in the throes of passion and everything, then something that you can, you can, you can avoid, you know, turn your head a little bit, get some fresh air, get back to work. It's. So do people with gas kinks. Do they have you fart in the mask so that it poses smell? That's good question you should ask. Let's. I've experienced that myself. Let's let's take a collar, though, right? Right. Let's find out. That's that's a good question they put out there, but.

8:09 I personally am pretty sensitive to smell, so I don't think I would enjoy that much. Yeah, yeah, I. So with us having experience swinging, I was trying to actually think in the shower before we got on, What is the like a Horror Story that, you know, hook up Horror Story for us? Because I'm thinking like back in the day. And I'm like, well, I've been with him for 22 years, so I'm like, I can't really even. Think back that far. The one party went to, we hooked up with one couple. I knew you guys say that.

8:46 We invited another couple up. I just.

8:49 They came up but invited another couple and then the couple that we invited left. So then the couple that invited stayed, and then we had to pick up their reason to leave. 4:00 o'clock. So they invited someone they just weren't into, and then they. They left and left us with the ones that. Yeah, that's just so interesting. Yeah, yeah. And then these people, like they loved us, like they weren't taking any hint by short of me being like get the fuck out. We're not into it. Like, and I don't want to do that.

9:28 I they were nice people and we were new. We were kind of we fairly new was first six months or so into you know being in the lifestyle. You know, there was really no point of being that much of an asshole. So, but short of that, like they didn't take a hint at all, we ended up like we rented this hotel room. It was. Celebration for my birthday. So we were supposed to stay. We actually had plans to hook up with somebody the next morning before we left. We ended up going ooh, got a phone call like.

10:07 Drive to the Bay. Area Sacramento. Yeah. That's what we said at 4:30 in the morning. So we checked the fuck out and went home and it was and they yeah, found us on. The websites that we were on and a good thing that like Facebook tells you when someone's trying to, you know, friend you, because I was able to cut that off real quick. But yeah, that is a good one I thought you were talking about. I have a really good one for you guys. Yes, I was going to say, would you share, yes. I I don't think he would mind me sharing the story because I've written about it and also.

10:47 It's just a funny story. It has to do with my ex, and we've talked about it too. It's just kind of silly. So I mentioned before I back in 2016, I was kind of going through this really bad breakup with my ex. We were together for like 6 years. It was just kind of a nasty time. I moved to Sacramento and I lived in Sacramento for like 2 years. And while I was there, I started kind of like, you know, feeling the. Lay the land, if you will, and I met this guy on some app and kind of attractive, a little bit older than me, wasn't bad looking pretty good.

11:30 So he invited me over to his place and I took an Uber from where I was living, kind of like in the Arden area to like.

11:40 And so I that's like this Far East is like I'd ever gone like from from Sacramento. So like a 30 minute ride in Uber is kind of kind of a big deal. Yeah. So I get there and you know, he's very nice, very welcoming, very warm, you know, going to the bedroom and start, you know, doing the thing. And it was okay. It was. It was not. Terrible, but it wasn't good either. It was just. Nothing to write home about. Nothing to write home about. And so apparently, you know, I, I, you know, we finish up, get dressed, I leave.

12:25 Apparently he had a great time because he found me on Facebook the next day and added me, started texting me all the time, calling me just like just in the inbox constantly. Just like, OK, like what? And, you know, maybe a few days later he he asked me like, oh, how do you know this person? And that that person was my ex. That was like and I was like, well, that is my ex. We broke up last year and a few months ago, whatever the tech frame was and. And he goes, oh, that's my nephew. Oh, wow. Holy.

13:14 Shit, yeah. So call me Mrs. Robinson I. And then it gets worse. Wow. So I was like, OK, well, the the breakup was kind of a bad breakup. Like, you shouldn't mention it to him. I We can't see each other ever again. Yeah, you know, but what does he fucking do? He tells him. That this happened and I was like, what the fuck is wrong with you? You know, Why would you do that? Why would you do that? And so my ex called me. That's some Jenny Jones Maury type shit like my. Ex calls me and and he goes, I know so my ex calls me and he goes, OK, so we got a.

14:06 Talk about this, my uncle. And I'm like, you know what? Awkward. I is. I'm so sorry. I had no idea. And it it just it just happened he goes this would happen to you though because I've I'm quite accident prone and he he's just like you know what this would happen. I'm like. It what it really what he was very understanding and we kind of had a little laugh at it. Yeah, I was. Like, wow, this is insane. Like, did he take him out to dinner? Did he call him and tell him like, what are you? He just called him up and said, hey, like I I hooked up with your.

14:50 Ass like what's this? One that was the like, high male testosterone. Like, let me brag about this, that braggadocious stuff that guys like to do. How's your dating life going? He's like, it's good. He's oh mine, let me tell you. I met this younger guy like, I think. He was trying to like, you know, negate. I don't know what he was trying to do. I think he was trying to like say it happened before it came out that it had or something like that, but it would. Never would have. Came out. Right. What is this, a ROM com like?

15:27 It would have been like you went to Turkey Day. And Oh my gosh, I know him like he wanted to tell and all the what? Are the odds. What are the odds that I would run into his uncle? Different city, Yeah. That lets, you know, everybody thinks California is so big especially. Yeah, it it it happens. I mean, when we met, we were together, we actually were engaged. And we started realizing how close our families were, intertwined as far as like went to school together and things like that. Cousins of ours that had dated and like found out that one, a cousin had a mine had like two or three abortions.

16:18 That was by a cousin of his. And part of the reason why I did not grow up, I was so happy my parents moved me out of the town. In the East Bay where they all live because I was like you guys are there's only so many of you so you guys all dated and fucked around and shit like that but when we got engaged people were like I think you guys may want to check the the family tree and we were like are you are you guys serious We're we had definitely had lots and lots of sex at this time and just it was just it was nothing that yeah there was nothing good that would have come out of.

16:58 If we had some family, yeah, some bloodline. There was not. There is not. There is not. Yes, she hasn't said. That shit so. Just to. Clarify, there's. None at all. I said if there was. But there's the fear that, you know, someone brought it up. There's a man. Yeah, like my mom and her five siblings knew all of his like older cousins and stuff like that. But just. Yeah, look. It's one of those towns where your dad had another family. Not anybody in our family, but your dad had another family like 4 streets over, right from where, you know it was back in nails.

17:40 One of those kind of towns. Shit, even now, I think it's still. There was a man in the Netherlands I just heard yesterday actually, who bothered some like 500 children or something like that. Like some insane number. But he was being, he was wanted by the police in the Netherlands for this because of the risk of incest might happen, because all those children will eventually grow up and they might end up getting together on accident, You know, he ran away from the country. He's in Africa now or something.

18:12 He's like in a different country, but he's also. With how many more? Exactly. So it's it's crazy. Thomas Jefferson. Like he's like inspired by him. Perhaps. I mean, he is. That's crazy. 500 kids is a lot. That is, that's a lot of lot of sex. That's a lot. What was the Horror Story you were thinking I was going to? Averlyn's birthday and the couple, and then how we saw them at the next time. At the next party and they want to put us on blast, which it's not a cool thing, guys. You don't, you don't have to.

18:55 You don't have to let the whole party know that you know us. And you didn't say it and like, oh, I know you guys. You said, like, I know you guys. I mean, then I have to act like I was like, I know those, I don't know those people at all. Be discreet. You know, that's. I write your thing. I mean, your husband was the one that. Asked me to eat my pussy. Who turns that down? Like, come on. So yeah, that's the one, I thought.

19:25 I I guess no, because we still, it still continued. But it was not a poor hookup, I guess I'd say. That one. No, I was going to say with white girl and guys, I'm not saying that. Don't get mad. That's what she preferred to be called. Right. Yes, well, that part. So it's going to be nice I. Didn't know who you were talking about. You change your name. Once again, she preferred to be called. That yap? That's odd. That's a really strange thing to want to be called. It was a dumb, so dynamic. Gotcha.

20:10 Yeah, like she came. Into it asking because she just said he had that energy which we are in a Dom sub relationship marriage that's a dynamic of our marriage and she just said that he he just radiated that energy. So she asked right away but that's a whole another episode so we'll talk about that then. So I did want to ask one what other story that? A caller or, you know, a guest or somebody has shared what is probably the craziest one, the one that just made you go what? Well, I've had some crazy ones for sure, but I think one of the most important things about this is the, yeah, we have a lot of these stories that could be kind of funny, but it also kind of borders on a lot of like serious topics as well, such as like domestic violence and.

21:06 Sexual assaults and you know also sex trafficking. So I I will say April, we're recording the 1st of April. April is Sexual assault awareness month. And so we just had I just released an episode yesterday about a man who he authored a book about being a partner to someone who is a survivor. And so he told the story about how his. How his wife was assaulted, like the very early stages of the relationship, like like maybe like the first couple of weeks and the whole the and the difficulty like navigating those situations, especially from the partner perspective.

21:52 It's like what do you do in these situations? They went through the whole the whole gamut they they went through like the legal system. They tried to like take this guy down, but also like. He had done it to like the other people in the friend group as well. So, you know, and they said he also had some sort of other like mental issues like orderline, autism or something like that. But that's not always an indication that a person is going to like, you know, say actually some people. But also that what I found most fascinating was that the difficulty they faced when they actually went through the legal system to address this.

22:33 And the whole like they had to go through several lawyers because the lawyers wouldn't take, wouldn't take the case. It's not quote UN quote winnable. Which is ridiculous. It's completely crazy and the strain will just be profitable for them. Right also. Exactly, yeah. Because lawyers have a career trajectory and you know if you lose a case that the garnish that the. Yeah, I mean, look at she does it for well. I like to think that she she works with women and she represents women because she cares all read.

23:10 Yes, I want to say that she does. However, there's been some instances that's like girl, take no, don't take this one, put it, put it back in the case. Maybe. Maybe ask for some money or something like on the on the low low, because it definitely seems like it's a profitable, you know, eye-catching. I'll be in the story. I'll be on Fox News and CNN and everything else. So there's been sometimes, but it it's sad that there's nobody that does these things pro bono or that they do it because they see the injustice, you know, that that occurs when it has to do with crimes of sexual nature, especially in in trafficking.

23:56 We've only made a dent and what's going on as far as trafficking? Right. There was actually an instance just this last year where a a 15 year old girl was abducted from a Mavericks game and was immediately sent off to to be sex trafficked, you know, force fed her drugs and they didn't find her for like, I don't know, months or like maybe it was like 10 days but they wouldn't take, they wouldn't take the case for like 9 months and it was like this insane thing. It's like really? Are you fucking kidding?

24:29 It was a Pi. It wasn't even the the the guy who actually ended up finding her and that hits on it as well.

24:41 This girl was she was coerced. She was you know, she was like approached through social media and this guy talked to her and you know, I mean planned it all. It was a couple of guys there that were with him at the basketball game and all she did was. Mistakenly like a 15 year old girl say I'm going to the bathroom, probably didn't think too much of it, Probably thought she was going to walk around the arena with them maybe or something like that. Yeah. And this, these grown ass men, you know, took her against her will.

25:20 And Can you imagine as a parent, I mean, I commend that individual that you were just speaking about who you know who wrote the book? From the perspective of a spouse. But Can you imagine the guilt that you feel as a parent, especially if you're a parent that's aware first and foremost, you're going to look back over everything that you did to see what led up to that situation. But they have a lot of work to do because now she's home, but they have a lot of work to do and and I hope that that young girl as she grows up and becomes a woman that she's able to have.

25:59 The most normal, you know, loving relationships because people don't think of that. They always think of, well, she's home now, but all the residual, I mean, they fall into a syndrome. You know what I'm talking. About it's a whole trauma thing. Yeah, like a Stockholm kind of syndrome. So it's very hard, I think, to keep those individuals from going back. And running away again or being you know, susceptible to you know, being coerced again and ending up back in a situation like that. So it's a lot of work that needs to be done.

26:37 And so we need more than just the parents and the the close family. We need communities that provide that support. So I can. I love that individuals are taking time out of their lives being. Full of compassion and being left less about self and understanding that this is an epidemic. It's not just not just the problem that we're going to get. It's an epidemic and it's only going to grow, you know, with more social media platforms and just more access to these these young women. Thank you for joining us on Soulmates and Swingers.

27:21 We hope that you enjoyed yourself. Just as much as we did, please don't miss our next play date. It just. Wouldn't be the same without you? Until next time. Be passionate. Be in the moment. Be bold. Be loving. Be the best version of me. Love at night. Hey, this is Mondo. Thanks for joining us this week. We want Soulmates and swingers if you have any questions or any topics that you want us to cover. You can reach us at 12IN NSATIV [email protected] and also on Twitter AT12IN NSATIVA. Make sure you like, follow, subscribe, comment, hit all the buttons you can except for the delete button.

28:22 We'll see next.